IM STILL HERE. SOMEHOW

tw for suicide. this is just an edgy recap of this year and my mental state lol

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its almost the end of november, the end of the year is coming a lot faster than ive thought. damn i do not keep up with time. time is weird lol

okay. time for val to get edgy. click on the spoiler box for my edgyness :o[
so, youre wondering why im making this blog post. yes?? well. earlier this year i swore that i wouldnt make it past 2024. that i'd be fucking dead by the end of the year. some nights, i'd think how my friends would react to my death. i contemplated it often. one night it got so bad that i literally almost considered going through with an attempt. yeah. it fucking sucked. 1/10 wouldnt recommend
despite everything, i'm still fucking glad im here. coding has a lot to answer for for me still being here. finding a new hobby and shit, finally finding something that made me really happy and kept me busy, yknow?? i started wappydog as a silly little project but then it turned into something so much more bigger.

i think im gonna be okay. its hard for me to say that, but its true. sadly i dont have therapy (thanks soooo much camhs) now but ive just been finding more coping mechanisms for myself, drawing the chipjinks is one of them :o]
maybe i finally have a happy ending for this shit?? a happy ending for my 2023?? no fucking idea. im trying my best guys this world is stressful ;__;